Dear Manager: It’s not about you… and it’s all about you

The transition from individual contributor to manager is a hard and humbling journey. I stepped into my first leadership role with more confidence than competence. And no one gave me the instruction manual, wise mentor, or time I needed to get better.

I felt overwhelmed and unprepared for the enormous responsibility of getting results through others. Learning by trial and error only created more frustration and resentment in me and my team.

It wasn’t until I took responsibility for my development — gaining self-awareness, investing in my career, and creating feedback loops — that I came to embrace two essential truths about managing people.

It’s Not About You

If it’s about you, then it’s not about your team. Today, people demand that their work and workplace have meaning and purpose and align with their values. Feeling seen, heard, safe, and respected is no longer negotiable. So your first job is to create the conditions for people to bring all of their strengths, talents, and wisdom to work every day. Shirk that responsibility, and you create the conditions for people to get out, get by, and get even.

It’s All About You

I know that sounds contradictory, but, as a manager, you have an outsized impact on people’s lives and livelihoods. According to Gallup, managers account for at least 70% of the variance in team engagement and performance. In other words, you are a force multiplier of misery or magic. The employee experience begins and ends with you.

If there isn’t a clear path in your organization to get better, make one. It’s your responsibility to become the leader you people deserve.

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